Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Lighten Up - Some of the Amusing Things in Life

Okay, have had a few posts here lately that have dipped down into the darker corners of my thoughts.  Hope I have not alienated too many folks, but I am also glad that I wrote what I thought.  Writing - to matter,  to have meaning - has to be honest.  I know me well enough to have titled this blog with a reminder of how that honesty should be packaged.

But if this is going to be a recording of my thoughts and, more importantly, if you are going to take the time to read it, I owe all of us the truth as I see it.  The way I figure it, if you go through life trying to tell everyone what you think they want to hear, you are still going to tick some of them off because you guessed wrong.  If you run that risk, why not just share your own thoughts?

You will notice that I said, "share."  That comes back to the name of this blog.  Even if you are honest about your thoughts (and sometimes because you are honest about your thoughts), people are going to get upset.  I don't do this to make people upset.  I do this to let people know what I think and to hopefully get them to respond with what they think.  My mind is not changed often, but it has been changed on occasion.  It usually happens when I have had the chance to exchange ideas with someone who is comfortable answering questions and wants to share a thought instead of winning an argument.

The posts on this blog lately have been a little depressing and maybe I am one those people who is just not in a good mood around the holidays.  Do not remember being that way last year since I had the flu from December 23rd thru the 27th and spent most of that time unconscious or in the bathroom.  Well, whatever the cause, time to snap out of it.  Time to lighten up.

Here are some things that I think are amusing:

A friend of ours came out to visit from Texas to play in the snow.  It did not snow the entire week she was here.  She flew out on Saturday and on Monday it started snowing and now on Tuesday we are expecting five inches of the white stuff.

Another friend shared a story about her beloved mother who is a bit of a control freak (so am I).  During dinner she and her husband told another story about a great meal they had and how her husband was going to surprise her with desert at a mystery destination.  Since she had no control over the destination, she refused to go until he told her where it was.

Another friend of ours is newly pregnant while having much older children already.  Apparently she has gotten fed up with people asking if it was an accident and got on Facebook to tell people so.  I saw her the other day and told her I did not see what was so offensive about the question.  I am the oldest in my family and  Mark is 18 months younger than me and Jason is five years younger than me.  I have told people for years that we are the first born, the middle child, and the accident.

We have another friend who is deathly afraid of clowns.  And people terrorize her with them but they are too blatant.  They put a blow up clown in her chair in her office at work and as a result she could not go into her office until someone removed it.  If I worked with  her, I would show up at work wearing great big clown shoes.

I also told the clownaphobe that Priscilla kept me from getting her a print of one of John Wayne Gacy's paintings.  For those who don't know, Gacy was a clown who worked children's parties, painted clown portraits, and was also a serial killer.  I know, I know, this would not have been a funny ha-ha kind of gift for most people, but it cracks me up.

Friend of ours taught his son to say "Mom's the bomb," when Mom did something that was worth a compliment.  He did something later that was apparently worth a compliment and so his son looked at him and said, "You're the mom!"

A friend on Facebook used colorful language to tell everyone that he hated a butt-kisser.  My reply was, "I have always liked that about you."

Out with my mom and brothers and their wives years ago at a restaurant and the hostess asks us if we have reservations.  My reply, "No ma'am, we are sure we want to eat here."  My mom got the joke even if the hostess was too busy to hear anything after "No..."

My wife blew her back out and as a result, the doctor had her out of her mind on Vicodin.  We had to go to the doctor and I had just helped her get her jeans on when she asked me if I would help her get her socks and shoes on.  I suggested her sandals and she replied, "Sandals.  Sandals.  Good idea.  Sandals."  I turned around for a second and turned back to see a hurt look on her face.  I ask what is wrong and she replies that she thought I was going to help her get her socks and shoes on.  I suggested her sandals again and she replied, "Sandals.  Sandals.  Good idea.  Sandals."

Having dinner with my first grade teacher and her husband, my senior year home room teacher, last year here in Indy and I am telling them about my favorite topless place.  I talk about the small plates and the great food at this topless place.  They keep looking at me funny and ask a couple of times about the name of the place.  And I keep going on and on about this great topless place.  Finally, he goes, "Tapas. You're saying Tapas.  Okay.  Okay."  For the record - Barcelona Tapas and everybody had a shirt on the whole time.

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